A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
