What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
