Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
