Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
