You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
