Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
