You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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