where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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