Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
