Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I have peed in a lot of sinks
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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