the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
