You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
