my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
