Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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