I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
ok first of all what the fuck
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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