there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
