His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
