he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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