You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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