Christians are straight up FREAKS
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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