i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Everything about him screamed your future.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Is it penis luge time yet?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
