She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
