I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize