Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
