She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
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got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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