I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
