I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
