her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
