I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I believe in your delicious
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
