This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
