There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
