and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
