Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize