This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He did a backflip because drugs
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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