Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
