____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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