I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
