It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
is wine microwaveable?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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