my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
