If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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