you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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