You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You ruined the universe
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
