Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
