please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
