I met the friendliest cop last night
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
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Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
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Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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