Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
