Betty ford says i'm here all night
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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