My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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