yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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