hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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