So how was he last night?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
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its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
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So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.