At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"