bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.