just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."