I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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