I can text with my tongue
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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