I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize
