you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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