i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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