just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
