You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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