on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.