So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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