i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
