It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
