I'm jealous of your bromance
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
