yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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