i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
