im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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