Whatcha textin bout Willis?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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