all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
