u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
