I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
